What To Do When You Don’t Know What to do

May 16, 2013 § Leave a comment

In my role as an EFT Practitioner, I often hear from people who are unhappy and discouraged about their lives.  They are hoping for help in finding the energy to improve their life circumstances.  Here is an email I received from Ron, a 911 Operator, and the advice I gave him.

 Hi Karen,

I just finished reading your personal journey. ‘Wow’ is all I can say.  I would also say that I wish I could be at the place you are at now, because in reality I’m at the place you were when you started.

 To make a long story short, I was a 911 operator from 2002 until 2007. It was the worst 5 years of my life. I had a complete burnout. And now, things just seem to be getting worse. . . I’m having a very difficult time getting through my days. I don’t think I have the strength to do what you did. 

 I wrote down all the troublesome experiences that I can remember in my life.  In total, I have over one hundred disturbing experiences to clear [with EFT].  I just cleared one of the experiences yesterday (it went from a 9 to a 2) but I felt shaky the rest of the day, as the process of clearing that event was mentally exhausting. A victory nonetheless, but the hill I have to climb seems so high.  I just feel so fragile mentally.

 I just saw your website, read your story and was hoping that you could give me any advice that could help get me through this really rough part of my life. I’ve been fighting to get better for the last 6 years, but the results are not what I’d hoped for. I’m getting weary and I could really use a good dose of hope right now.

Thank you and take care.


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 Ron’s email  is about the dark night of the soul, a time when there seems to be no way out of our suffering.  This is a very tough place to be in, because as humans, we have a deep need to grow and to see the evidence inside and around us of that growth.  When we don’t feel mentally and physically strong, and when we don’t know how we are going to turn things around, it is easy to sink into despair.

First, consider that hardship has its rightful place in your spiritual education, despite all the trumpeting about abundance and ease being our birthright (as in The Secret and other similar books).  For one thing, great difficulty shows us how resilient we are.  I once came across an online signature that said, “Damaged people are dangerous, because we know we can survive.”  This knowledge, that we have been through hell and survived, is extremely powerful in allowing us the confidence to bear our future difficulties with hope and optimism.

 Next, hardship also refines our characters.  As Rumi says:

 What sort of person says that he or she wants to be polished and pure, then complains about being handled roughly?  You’ve heard that every buried treasure has a snake guarding it.  Kiss the snake and discover the treasure!  The severe treatment is not toward you, but the qualities that block your growth.  

 Not easy advice when you’re in the middle of the storm, but still empowering to remember nonetheless.

 The third valuable aspect of tough times is that, in the process of healing, we discover compassion for each other, and perhaps more poignantly, for ourselves. Let me share an example from my own experience:

 One day I was mowing my lawn, while at the same time steeped in my own private misery.  While trudging morosely behind the lawnmower, I noticed with a start that I was an inch away from mowing over a caterpillar.  In a flash, I swerved and mowed over my electrical cord instead, shredding it in the process.  What did this mean for me?  Even though I didn’t know what to do about my own distress, I could still avoid causing pain to another being.  I also realized that, deep in my heart, I already understood that all life is valuable, including my own.

Getting back to Ron, here is the abridged version of what I told him:

 1.  Set your intention to weather this storm, and never give up.  There is enormous power in this one act alone.  You are a human being, and therefore, more brilliant than you know.  You will get there in the end if you keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I guarantee it.

 2.  Buy the book The Mood Cure by Julia Ross.  She mentions many supplements you can take for anxiety and depression that will help you enormously, without the disruptive effects of prescription meds.

 4.  Don’t try to change everything at once.  If you are feeling shaky after clearing something, give yourself a rest and know that you have earned it!  Try to avoid stressful situations,  if you can.  On the other hand, if there is something that makes you happy, and it is available, legal and affordable, do it – a lot!

 I am happy to report that I heard from Ron again a few weeks later.  He has found an excellent EFT Practitioner in his area, and they are working together to get him back on his feet!


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